The Survivalists Guide To Zombie Outbreaks

Welcome To Zombie Survival 101.
Hopefully you have brought your notebooks, pencils, and trusty boomstick so we can begin our lessons!

Fortress Building...



Hello there Zombie Hungry Populous,

     So in the spirit of deciding whether or not to stay put or get moving during a zombie outbreak, I thought I would tackle a bit more of the specifics.  Namely, I wanted to talk about the types of things you might want to stock up on when boarding up the old homestead.  Now keep in mind that you might wanna keep your stockpile secret so friends don't think you are completely insane (unless you have friends like mine who share the idea that the zombie apocalypse is an inevitability rather than fiction.)

I thought I'd break this down into categories.

A- Food.
     This one is rather easy in my opinion.  Canned foods are your best bet here, as canned food will last quite a while and are easy to stack.  And as an added bonus, during certain can themed mega sales (like how I avoided copyright infringement there...) can be quite cheap.  Now you want to stock up on certain things such as protein, citrus fruits, fats, and green veggies.  Beans are a wonderful source of protein and come in a variety of types to keep things fresh.  You definitely want to stock up on plenty of veggies, especially leafy greens (kale, spinach, collard greens, etc.,) plus some variety in corn, beets, and carrots (some nice minced veggies should do nicely.)  Then you want fruit.  Oranges to be more precise.  Fruit is a good, natural source of vitamins and sugars, as well as a nice way to stave off scurvy.  Then we got to have some fat thrown in there (yes you heard me right, without fat in your diet you can actually starve.)  I'm not sure what kind of fats you can get in non perishable forms, but feel free to be creative here.

     This is another essential.  There is a high probability you will have to engage on some hand to hand combat here.  If you are uncomfortable keeping weapons like blades, knives, or firearms, you can use certain household items instead.  Table and chair legs can suffice as bludgeoning weapons, and that goes the same with sports equipment like bats or hockey sticks.  As for my own personal preference, handguns and shotguns make great close quarters weapons when you are trying to secure a household.  I wont get too detailed on this, since you can refer to my earlier post about weapon selection.  Just make sure if you have a firearm, have enough of the appropriate ammunition.

C- Medicine.
     Ok, this is where things get a little more complicated.  First, there are some over the counter medicines you want to stockpile.  Painkillers are the first thing you want to have.  I suggest something along the lines of a low dose aspirin, since it can work to protect your heart (it thins the blood a bit, but I am no doctor.)  Then you have things like cold medicine, allergy medicine, and good old fashioned pepto (which if you are like me is most important.  I can't live without my hot wings.)  But when we get to over the counter medicine,
     I must also mention vitamins.  Vitamins are gonna be a good thing to keep around.  Especially multivitamins, vitamin c, vitamin e, and oil of oregano.  I'm sure there are a ton of others you can choose to keep around, but I think these are essential.  Especially the oil of oregano.  If you haven't heard about this little wonder, google it.  I swear by it.
     Finally, we come to controlled substances.  Now that usually comes with the connotation of illicit drugs, but the most important item here will be antibiotics.  In the post zombie apocalypse world, antibiotics will be worth their weight in plutonium (thats right, plutonium, not gold, not platinum, plutonium.)

D- Building Materials.
     Ultimately, you are only as safe as the weakest entrance to your homestead.  Building materials are key here.  Now it doesn't have to be a matter of keeping lumber in your garage, but some household choices can make the securing process much easier.  Having solid doors on all your interior doors will provide you with some top notch lumber.  Using solid doors to close up your windows and exterior doors will definitely help.  Now as for your exterior doors, using steel doors with steel frames will be exponentially safer than regular doors in the zombie apocalypse. Also, tables can be a good source of lumber.
     When securing your materials around your doors and windows, make sure you use a heavy nail or screw.  Roofing nails are a good choice here, but it is absolutely imperative that you put them in on an angle.  This will make it harder to push out the nails, so I suggest about a 30 degree angle.  Also, putting some buttress type pieces of lumber reaching from the center of your sured up exterior entrance to the floor.  Securing it with nails in both the floor and the entrance should make it nice and sturdy.  I suggest multiple layers of buttressing and more nails than you think are necessary.

E- Entertainment.
     This is a definite essential that most people would overlook.  Why entertainment you might ask?  Think about it.  Apart from the obvious, keeping yourself occupied, you will have to combat cabin fever.  I suggest puzzles, brainteasers, books, and board games.  Anything that keeps your mind and time occupied and fresh.  In the event you have a generator and a good supply of fuel, an occasional movie could also work wonders. (Just remember, you will have to ration your fuel, especially to keep warm in the winter months, and emergency nighttime lighting.)

Ok there folks.  This is by no means an exhaustive list (although exhausting to write) and there is about a thousand things you also want to keep handy.  I definitely reserve the right to revisit this topic, as I am sure there will be more detail requested in time.

Thanks for tuning in.  Stay frosty people...

The Rural Fortress



Hello Again Zombie Hungry Populous,

     Here we are, part 3 of my should I stay or should I go series.  We have covered the city and the suburb, so naturally, we must turn to the last remaining region...

The Country.

     In the city scenario my advice was to hit the road in order to avoid facing an inordinate amount of potential targets and limited space to hoard supplies.  In the suburban scenario, we determined a series of questions that needed to be answered before the decision to stay or go was made.  For the rural scenario, my advice is to stay put.  Let us examine why.

     First, we should ask ourselves the same basic questions we asked in the suburban scenario.  We should know where resources are, how close you are to the nearest urban metropolis, and how many potential infected you will come up against.  But in the majority of cases, if you are out in the country, you aren't going to be close enough to any city to face an influx of potential targets, and there wont be too many homegrown infected.

     Secondly, we need to reinforce our entrances/exits.  This will be a topic I will go into more detail on in a later blog, but for now we should go over the basics.  We need to identify all doors and windows on or accessible via the ground floor, and use anything we can to permanently close them.  Interior doors (bedroom, closet, etc.) and table tops are your best options and can be reinforced with heavy furniture, such as shelving units, entertainment units, breakfronts, etc.
     (*on a side note, you are going to need plenty of nails and screws to board up your weak spots.  You should use larger nails and screws and always put them in on an angle.  Angling nails will make them much harder to pull out.)

     Finally, we have to think about what resources to stock up on.  (Yet another topic that will be revisited in future blogs.) Your faucets should work for a few days, maybe even a week or so, but soon after water will become scarce.  Having water stocked up with some buckets on the roof to catch rainwater for some natural renewal is always a good idea.  Also, canned foods are your best bet for stocking up on.  They last for years and are easily stored.  You should stock up on foods high in vitamins, minerals and proteins.  Canned fruits, beans, and vegetables are ideal, but you do need to keep some fatty foods around (yes you will indeed starve without fat.)
     The last few things you should stock up on include matches, batteries, weapons and ammo, and medications.  Each item is self explanatory as to why you need it, but the last bit, medications, might be a bit tricky to procure.  You will want painkillers, analgesic creams, antacids, and bandages which should be easy to find over the counter; but you will also need antibiotics which are much less accessible.  This is something you may want to make an initial trip to the local pharmacy when things first start going awry.

Well... This concludes the discussion on what to do in each scenario.  Stay tuned for the next series which is very closely related.  What to bring on the road and what to stock up on when you stay put.

Till next time....

On The Road Again...Goin' Places That I've Never Been...



Hello Again My Zombie Hungry Populous,

     So it's time to discuss part 2 of my venture into traveling versus hunkering down.  First we talked about the urban jungle, so naturally we will progress to a suburban nightmare.  Lets refresh our memories.  We are dealing with the rapid onset of a virus that re-animates dead flesh and spreads via fluid transfer.  The infected individuals seek out warm flesh to feed on and have no cognitive abilities.

Now that we jogged the memories, lets talk about suburbia.

     Suburbia-  I honestly believe that the setup of your suburb will determine if you should stay or if you should go.  In order to determine which action to take, there are some variables you need to measure.

A. Size of the suburb.  How large is the town, not only in square milage, but in population.  The denser the population, the faster the virus will spread, and the more potential infected you will have to contend with.  There is also a bit of a ratio you should consider when asking how big the suburb is.  The size of the population in relation to the square milage of the town.  In other words, how many people per square mile/acre/hectare/any other form of measurement you want to examine.
B. The proximity of your suburb to other suburbs and cities.  Here is probably your most important question.  If you are 100 miles away from a large city, your decision will be much different than if you are 20 miles away.  And of course, the same question about size of the city must be taken into consideration as well.
C. What resources are in and around your suburb.  Here is something that will come in handy when considering staying.  Given that hunkering down implies that you'll be in for the long haul, and no matter how well stocked your pantry/basement/bomb shelter may be, you will eventually need something you don't have.  Therefore, mapping out where hospitals, grocery stores, gun shops, pharmacies, etc. would be vital to staying put for any significant period of time.

So based on a very complex number of variables, you can make a purely educated decision about whether or whether or not to hit the road or stay where you are.

Stay tuned, as part 3 will talk about rural life... And part 4 and 5 will take a look at what you should stock up on/take on the road with you.  Thats right... I'm stretching this to at least 5 parts (like how I left an opening for even more parts to be added on this.)

Till next time...

Hold Your!



Hello Zombie Hungry Populous,

     Although I know you have probably been clamoring for the second installment of "Should I Stay or Should I Go," I wanted to share with you a golden nugget of a movie I just discovered.  The Norwegian answer to Shawn of the Dead, Dead Snow.  This movie had everything I want from a zombie spoof.  Zombie Nazis, excessive and inventive gore, humor... And it even manages to stay fresh.  Only 20 minutes after watching this, I believe it has become one of my all time favorite horror movies and firmly believe you should see it.
     Most zombie films end up being spoofs, even if they intend on being serious, and those that set out to be spoofs end up completely unwatchable.  Dead Snow has a clever script, good acting, and decent gore effects.  Add that to the seldom used zombie nazi, and you have an exciting, fresh, and thoroughly enjoyable movie.  The only caveat is you have to watch this movie in its native Norwegian with subtitles, which I do not mind, but there are those out there who refuse to "read and watch." (Oh, you people are out there.  I know it.  You know it.  And you know who you are.)  
     There are some gore sequences which are truly new (at least to me, but I've seen all matters of gore) and border on ludicrous.  Also, the writer did pay homage to the horror genre a few different ways (we see the big guy in a Braindead t-shirt, they talk about Friday the 13th, etc.)  Overall, I would give this movie a solid 4 of 5 zombie sought after brains (this was the most clever I could be at the moment, slightly sleep deprived.)

Alright, keep staying tuned until the next segment of hunkering down or hittin' the road.

Till next time...Keep scared.